So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
