remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
