every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
