you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
