Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
