we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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