I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
