New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize