Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
