So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
