You're my little dorito
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
