I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I believe in your delicious
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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