Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
