There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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