dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
