Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
