am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize