i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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