is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
