shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
