Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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