hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
