M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
