I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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