It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will be naked everywhere
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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