remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize