so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it was like eating out sand paper
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
