I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
