Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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