i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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