I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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