I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
