Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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