wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
