Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
