Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
