There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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