if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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