Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
