dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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