I'm lost and stupid without you.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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