im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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