He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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