he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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