I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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