Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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