How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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