Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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