You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
