I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize