ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
that's an acceptable place to lick
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Boobs are out for the taking
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize