Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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