We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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