it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize