Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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