he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
